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Reflections
September 15, 2003
Well, I’ve been here in Manaus, Brazil for a little over a year. Our one-year anniversary was spent frantically trying to get visas renewed for another year, a task that brought with it great stress and uncertainty. The heart wrenching day-to-day thoughts of “do I pack to go home?” or “oh I really hope I don’t have to leave here” or “but I’m still learning the language” occupied a lot of my time. Attending language classes during this time helped occupy some of the time so that my thoughts would not get out of control. The day finally came when we received word that our visa application had been accepted. Ahhhh, now I could breathe easier. Now that things have calmed down, I’ve been able to reflect on this past year.
Language - When I first arrived, I could not speak the language. God has brought me though this year of language learning and I am able to communicate fairly well. I know that I will always be learning Portuguese, but I’m so thankful for the blessing of a great teacher and how God has allowed me to learn what I have so far.
Friends – When I first arrived, the only friends I had were the other missionary couples. As the year has passed, not only do we have our missionary friends, God has blessed us with so many friends too numerous to count. These friends have been such blessings in many ways, from helping with the language, valuable cultural information, sharing in our joys and struggles, praying for us, and just plain wanting to be with us. It is such a blessing to hear from our Brazilian friends that they are praying for us. And to watch the kids make friends. This has been such a blessing too! The hours the kids have spent at friends’ homes or playing in the street, have been filled with much fun and learning experiences!
Ministry – The majority of my time has been spent mainly in language class and home schooling the kids this past year. To be honest, I really haven’t felt like I have done any ministry this past year. But as I reflect, I realize that I have done ministry. I know that part of my ministry during this stage of life is raising my kids to know Jesus and to become wonderful, caring, loving adults. However, I know that I have also spent valuable time building relationships with lots of different people. Some of these relationships have blossomed into great friendships, and others are still developing. Some of the people I know are not Christians, YET. I am building a relationship with people, so that, in the near future, I can communicate with them on a more personal level and share Jesus with them. So, this past year, my ministry has been relationship building.
Life in General – Well, a year ago, I was dealing with culture shock on a daily basis. I couldn’t go to the grocery store by myself, I was afraid to drive, I couldn’t communicate, etc. I’ve had days of doubt, days I wanted to go back home, days I’ve really loved it here and days where it felt that this was home. Now the latter is more the norm. This is feeling more and more like home to me now. Going to the grocery store is a cinch now! I’m still learning about different food stuffs all of the time, thanks to my Brazilian friends! I can go to the meat counter and tell them what I want and how I want it cut. Little things like that make life so much easier! I overcame my fear of driving after about a month. I drive all over the place. That’s not to say that sometimes I’m not still afraid when I drive, I am. But I leave my safety in the hands of the Lord! I’ve already talked about communication some, but I want to add that I am able to read the newspaper and know what’s going on in my community, in my part of the world. My life is becoming more “normal” everyday, and culture shock is not a daily battle anymore. I used to be afraid to ask “how” or “what” because I was afraid I wouldn’t understand the explanation. Now, my days are constantly full of “how” and “why” questions. I’ve learned so much this year!
All in all, it’s been a year of ups and downs. I’ve ridden this roller coaster with Jesus; as a matter of fact He’s the one that has been in control of it, and I’m thankful for this ride I’ve been on this year. I’m also thankful that God has allowed me to keep it all in perspective!
Sandi Todd
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